Current mood:	melancholy
Entry tags:	breakup, diet, friends, movie

The Process of Getting On With Life
Ugh, last night was bad. Waves of tropical sobbing squalls all evening, and lots of tossing and turning through the night.

Today is better. At least to an observer on the outside. Inside it's still pretty stormy.

A group of three local friends -- Amy, Gary (a former co-worker and office-mate), and Laurie (who just became Gary's fiance', congrats to you both!) -- took me out for brunch at the Star Seeds Cafe'... one of my local favorites. I had scrambled eggs and pancakes (the only food I've had all day in fact), and it was good. I put on my brave face, and though I was on thin, brittle ice which came very close to cracking several times, I kept it together. I hadn't seen them in forever (my fault, mostly), and they've never met Brian.

Being with people was good. Being with friends was better. Being able to laugh, was awesome.

After brunch and much conversation, we went out to see a movie, "Charlie Wilson's War". What an excellent film. It was thoroughly entertaining and I highly recommend it. I needed a good laugh, and this movie provided it. In addition, it's just a very intelligent movie, based on a true story. If you haven't seen it, try and catch it before it goes out of theaters, or at least plan to rent or NetFlix the DVD.

My last big episode of 'getting dumped' was fifteen and a half years ago. It was far worse than this one (if you can believe it), and I was much less emotionally equipped to handle it. I bring this up, because I have a rather strange reaction to getting dumped ... I lose my appetite almost completely. Back in September/October of '92, I dropped down to 140lbs. To give you some idea what that means, I'm 6'4" and at the time I pretty much hovered around 170. That's a lot of weight to drop, when you're already pretty skinny.

Over the last few months, I've unfortunately packed on some decent poundage. Between the Cruise (all you can eat!) the Holidays (fatty foods and sweets!) and dating a lot (dining out several times a week), lots of work stress (I'm a "stress eater"), and just plain old growing older with a slowing metabolism and very little physical activity, I porked my way up to about 194 as of last week.

The "official" (if you can call it that) breakup is only 24+ hours old (though I was getting all screwed up wondering what was going on during the days of silent treatment before that, as any member of the MUSH can attest to), and I'm already down to 187. So if there's a silver lining to all this, at least I can look forward to fitting back in my regular pants (I had to go out and buy 'fat pants' for the last few months) and maybe getting back into shape.

I should market this "getting dumped by a boyfriend" diet. Nothing has proved more effective, for me at least. :-/

I promise not to let it get out of control though. If I start getting below about 178, I promise I'll force myself to eat something even when I'm not hungry.