Twice a year, I visit with my cousin Lanora. I'm probably closer to her than I am to any other human being on earth. She's fond of saying that we never let the fact that we're related get in the way of our friendship. She's like having a very close sister (I'm an only child), but without having all the baggage of growing up together :-)

So we both make it a point to stay in touch, even though we live very far apart, and even though are lives have taken us in very different directions. She lives up in Wisconsin, I live down in Texas. She's married and has a wonderful 8 year old child (whom I refer to as my 'niece' because 'second cousin' or whatever the legal description of our relationship is, just doesn't seem to sound right), while I'm about as single as they come.

So once a year, I fly the entire family down (Lanora, her husband, and her daughter) to visit around Thanksgiving. And once a year I fly Lanora down by herself, sometime in the spring. This way, we get to see each other every six months, even if only for a few days each time.

This year, the scheduled visit probably couldn't have come at a worse, more hectic time for both of us. The schedule was set and tickets bought long ago... the bathroom was supposed to be complete, and projects at work were supposed to be in a lull. That is SO not how it turned out. Both of us were busier than ever, and both of us had to contact work during the visit. In fact, I worked a couple of hours almost every day of my 'vacation'. And of course the house was full of contractors almost every day. Ugh.

On top of it all, this year Lanora is training for a Triathlon (swimming, running, biking) to raise money for Breast Cancer Research. It's a challenge she's taking on herself, similar to the one I took on ten years ago (god, has it been that long?) when I trained for and completed the first Texas AIDS Ride. During her stay, we spent a some time together with the training, stretching and going for long (mile-plus) "power walks" to keep the heart rate up. It was good for both of us, but we were both sore by day three or so :-) Anyway, much kudos and support to her for doing this.

Overall, the visit was wonderful, and much needed, as it always is. We went and saw Spiderman 3, we ate at many wonderful restaurants and had great food (even though we concentrated on eating 'healthier'). We went out each night and had fun downtown. We tried to see the famous Austin Bats emerge from the Congress Street Bridge, but they were being finicky or something, and we never got to see an emergence. They're usually quite impressive. It's odd, because they came out just fine for earlier visits from my friends Leslie and Cody, back in April. Ah well.

We even made it out to the lake, where I took this picture of Lake Travis. We sat in the sun and enjoyed delicious Strawberry Margaritas, and talked, and just had a great time. I wish we could do it more often, but life is, well, life, and so we just do what we can. And though it's never enough... it's enough.

Okay, I hope this isn't getting boring. But stay with it, because this will quickly become about something bigger than remodeling....

I had a meeting with the cabinet lady from Contractor #2 ... the one that was giving me such frustration and angst. Well, after a face to face, and sitting in her show-room, and going over what I wanted and didn't want (again), I think I finally found something she could do that I actually liked. So she's back in the running, and the frustration level drops a bit.

On the flip side, I still hadn't heard from Contractor #3, who had promised a bunch of info by email last Monday, so I finally called him. This time, he promised a bunch of stuff by email by the end of today. I made a point to verify he had my correct email address. Well, it's certainly past the end of the business day, and still nothing. Hrm. He's becoming less impressive by the moment.

I'm going to have to make a decision by next week.

So anyway, yesterday I was venting my frustration with the remodel experience so far to a few friends (electronically), and one of them made this observation (heavily condensed and paraphrased): "You can do your job from wherever you want, right? You have a few friends in Seattle, right? This remodeling thing is frustrating to you and you might not do it, right? What about skipping the remodel entirely and just moving to Seattle?"

(blink)

You know, it had honestly never occurred to me, until just that moment, that my job no longer ties me to a geographical location. Even though we have developers spread out all across the various time zones (even in to the UK and Australia), and we've had developers move around as recently as last month (a guy I liked a lot moved from here in Austin to Long Island). Sometimes I can be dense. But that really takes a huge obstacle out of the game when it comes to relocating... finding a job.

So what the hell, I thought. I started looking around the Seattle area for homes. And yikes, the prices! I thought Austin prices were bad. I have to say that just as I was getting all fired up about the idea, this threw a real bucket of cold water on it. And then of course, today's experience cut down a lot on the remodel angst (even if the price is edging up past what I wanted to spend).

So it was an interesting revelation, but I'm not sure it's going to go anywhere.

I'm finding that not only do I have a lot of inertia, but I have become spoiled in many ways. How quickly 'wants' become 'needs', luxuries become necessities. I remember the first car I had that had cruise control... I never thought I'd use it or care that much about it. Now I can't imagine owning a car without it. Similarly, I now own a very nice, comfortable, modern home with 2000 sq ft for under a grand a month mortgage. I'll own this house free and clear in just 15 years too. I have a private yard, with a hot tub, central air, central heating, a very large kitchen with a gas range, three bedrooms (master bedroom, office, and guest room), a large two car garage, ... if it sounds like I'm bragging, I'm don't mean to. It's just that the idea of giving up many of these things to be able to afford a house in Seattle makes my gut knot. "Is the trade-off worth it?" my gut asks.

(angst)

I call it the "golden handcuffs"... when things start anchoring you in place. Other call it "mental chains". Whatever you call it, I realized today that I've got it bad. Oh so bad.

So maybe the bathroom remodel goes on, and I stay here for several more years. Or maybe something happens that jolts me in the gut and I cancel the remodel and pack up everything I have (selling off what I can) and squeeze myself into a smaller, more expensive house in a very cool and beautiful city, geographically close to friends that are not transient, but tested by trial and time, and opening the door to the possibility of new friendships (an area that seems, at least for the moment, to be stagnating for me here in Austin, as much as I love the city and the weather here).

I just don't know.