I've been very remiss in updating my blog lately. Part of it is work taking a lot of time, and part of it is just being lazy and tired. It's strange how the one hour time-change this month threw me off so badly. It took me literally two weeks for my body's clock to adjust, and even though it was just an hour, it meant I was losing significant sleep, and just being tired a lot.

Anyway, I wanted to follow up on how the diet is going. I've been on it six weeks, more or less, and I've lost six pounds. That's one pound a week on average. And while that isn't quite as fast as I started with the first two weeks, much of that comes from how much I've been "cheating" of late :-)

When Thane was in town, we ate out a lot, and I blew the diet a couple of days. And being a stress eater, when work got stressful these last two weeks, I've been craving comfort food. Add to that being really tired, and fast food is just so easy.

But I'll tell you something. I still haven't had any fries. I've had exactly two sodas in the last three weeks. And even though I've eaten at fast food places four times in the last week and a half, my choices have been a lot better. No soda, no fries, get a side-salad with that grilled chicken sandwich, get the "Fresco" chicken soft tacos, etc, etc.

And of course, I dutifully enter it all in the Nutrition For You site (http://www.nu4you.net/) of course, and surprisingly, I've only blown out my fat or carb or calorie intake a couple of days. The site hammers you with the fact that it's "all about choices", not some rigid and fixed diet you have to punish yourself with. I was pretty religious about it at first, and that's probably why the weight came off so fast to start. I'm more lax about it now, but I'm still within the guidelines.

What's even more interesting is how it's changed my perceptions and desires. I used to crave Big Macs, and would think nothing of getting two of them when they had those "two Big Macs for $2.22" specials. Now the whole idea just turns me off. I don't even want one. The one day I was the worst, when I was out with Thane, and ate way too much fried food (these delicious "appetizers" called "fireballs", which are minced chicken and jalapeno, formed into little balls and deep fried), I actually felt ill for several hours. They were delicious, but all that grease just made me sick. Honest to god, the one time I went to Wendy's, I didn't even WANT fries.

The whole experience has been really good, and really eye-opening. Even if I stopped using the site, I know I'd be eating better, with better portion control. I highly recommend the site if you're at all interested in losing weight or just plain eating better. I hate to sound like a salesperson, but they're having a sign-up sale for just $1, and then just $15/month, which is MORE than worth it.

For the record, I'm also sleeping better, and my heart-burn problems have really gotten a lot better as well. I've only got two more pounds to get to my goal, but I think I'm going to go for a little more. I also haven't been exercising much at all these last couple of weeks, so I need to pick that back up again.

Last January, right before the breakup, I was 196. Yesterday, I weighed in at 182. Sure, over half of that was the post-breakup weight loss, but I'm still really pleased with the results. My fat pants are officially "too big" now, which is awesome. Seeing the results in the mirror are even better motivation than looking at the number on the scale.

Other than that, not a lot going on.

Anyone that knows me knows I'm a junk food junky and eat way too much fast food (like, twice a day, every day).

And anyone that has read this blog knows that late last year I put on a lot of weight... from stress-eating, to the all-you-can-eat cruise, to the Holidays, to dating... I got up to 196 at one point (about 20lbs above where I want to be).

Of course, getting dumped in January sent me down about 8 pounds to 188, but I completely plateaued there once I got over the shock and depression a couple of weeks later. (Daily affirmation: I deserve better; I deserve respect and consideration; I deserve someone who communicates; I deserve someone who is nice.)

So when a good friend offered to let me beta-test his new diet-program web-site (Nutrition for You (www.nu4you.net)), I signed right up. I've been on it for two weeks now.

That's two weeks of no fast food, nothing fried, no full-fat dairy, and only one soda in all that time (I slipped this morning!). It's actually been working really well, averaging a loss of 1.5 pounds a week (three pounds in two weeks). The best part? You eat a LOT. I love food, and I almost feel like I can't possibly eat as much as this diet wants me to. Only two days in the past two weeks have I exceeded the 'target' amounts of food or calories for a given day (not-ironically the only two days I had a meal out at a restaurant). Some days I've come in really short of the calorie target, and yet I feel like I'm eating a lot more than I used to.

And in spite of that, I'm losing weight. Steadily.

I'm not really exercising any more either. Well, actually, I am exercising a little more, but it's not super-significant (yet). It's just about food choices. I can't believe I haven't even had refined white flour or white rice. Multi- and Whole-grains only!

The drawbacks? Well damn, there's a lot of dishes to do all of a sudden. God that's annoying :-) And I'm not reading as much, because my "reading time" has always been the time I sat in restaurants or fast-food places, eating by myself. I'm going to have to find other time to fit my reading in. I've also spent a lot of time preparing meals, doing dishes, etc. that I never really did before, as well as a lot more grocery shopping.

One of the other things about the diet is you eat pretty much every three hours. Given all that work (preparation, cleaning, shopping, and having to log everything I eat into a website), I'm shocked I've stuck with it this long. I'm pretty lazy when it comes to this kind of thing, but I'm liking the results. I really want to get back into regular pants, get back into shape (ramping up the exercise a bit), and start feeling good about my body and myself again.

It's been a rough year so far, and hopefully this is one thing that will help me turn things around.

Seriously. Two weeks with no butter, no cream, no whole milk, and only two days with any regular-fat cheese (the two days I ate out). Nothing fried! Who would have believed I could even do that, let alone want to continue it.

185 and continuing down! (I haven't seen this weight in six months I don't think)

Last weekend was really rough, but this weekend was fine.

I spent most of the week working of course, but I also got away to see a movie and to have dinner with friends. And of course I went out Friday! I also went to brunch with a friend on Sunday, and then out for Sunday happy hour too. And seriously, through the therapy of good friends and not letting myself hole-up in my house and wallow, I'm really doing okay now. The shock, the anger, and the hurt are pretty much in the past now.

Nobody is more surprised by this than me, to be honest. The last time I was dumped, some fifteen and a half years ago, it took me months to recover, and calling it years wouldn't be unreasonable. It's nice to see I've grown emotionally and am more able to handle and deal with set-backs and shocks to the system like this. Shake it off, and move forward... don't wallow, don't look back, but just get on with getting on with life, and know when I deserve better.

All of which, of course, doesn't change the fact that I still want to know what the hell happened! :-) I mean, really... after two days of silent treatment (and having not seen him in almost two weeks) I go to his door to see what's up, and get it slammed and locked in my face without a word. What could possibly justify that in his mind? I'd love to find out. But I'm not counting on it. And I'm certainly not depending on it. It would, however, be a nice parting gift, should it ever come to pass.

But back to my week... I saw "Cloverfield" on Wednesday night, and it was pretty okay for what it is, which is a straight-forward monster-movie with a little "Blair Witch" twist. Unfortunately, that twist, while initially interesting, left me feeling mildly motion-sick about half-way through the movie. Eh, it's worth a matinee if you're into monster movies. If you're not, it's certainly nothing special, so nothing lost :-)

I also made a lovely Chocolate Amaretto Swiss Roll for dessert to bring to dinner with my friends on Thursday night, and Friday night, we all went out early, got drunk, and spent two hours stuffing our faces at P.F. Changs.

Sunday I had a great conversation over eggs and pancakes with Amy, and later that evening went out with more friends at happy hour, and even ran into a lot of people from the cruise. I had a great time, and a very interesting talk with another friend I've never been that close with before. I honestly think that's changing, and that's a good thing, because I've always liked him and his partner. And of course I stuffed my face on free happy-hour food.

Which brings me to my last point. The one drawback to getting over the depression as quickly as I did is that my weight loss plateaued at about 7 lbs, and is likely to regress from there the way I've been eating lately :-) Oh well...

You can't have everything I guess. Nope. You sure can't.